Once, I used to be

Once, I used to yearn for wisdom,

I used to love,

I used to meet,

I used to dream,

I used to have a reason.

Now, I do not.

Now, I would like to cry,

but – for whom?

I do not have anybody,

Nobody has me,

I do not love anybody,

Nobody loves me,

Once, I used to weep.

Once, I used to be a child,

I used to play in the countryside,

I used to hug the trees,

I used to catch the butterflies,

I used to see the Sun,

Well, habits do change.

Ok, what to do now?

I would like to play,

yet all my toys are gone,

I crave to embrace the trees,

they are burnt,

I will kiss the ash.

What is breathing for

if the heart does not push the blood?

I remember one wonderful time,

it was exactly like Now,

about subtle matters I used to ponder,

beautiful songs I used to listen to,

generous heart I used to have,

I used not to be understood,

exactly like Now – with one difference,

I did not mind.

I did not mind to be somebody or nobody,

It did not matter to be anybody,

It just worked,

cogwheels were spinning,

water was running,

bread was being baked,

and I ate a cake.

I did not mind because:

I used to see the Sun,

I used to see the stars,

I used to feel the air,

I used to be a purpose,

now I am not.